Bring Me The Winner
One day Sis was out eating, she ordered lobster for supper. The waiter brought her meal out to the table, Sis looked at the lobster it only had one claw. She said to the waiter she thought lobsters had two claws and wondered why hers only had one claw.
“I’m sorry; it must have been in a fight.” said the waiter
Sis then said, “Well then please bring me the winner!”
Thanksgiving Day is a federal holiday in the United States.
What do people do on Thanksgiving Day?
Thanksgiving Day is traditionally a day for families and friends to get together for a special meal. The meal often includes a turkey, dressing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, macaroni pie, sweet potato pie, and vegetables. Thanksgiving Day is a time for many people to give thanks for what they have.
What are you thankful for?
Jeep In The Mud
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
“Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
“Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, “Yours is.”
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother (his mother’s mom). “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been talking about.”
The grandmother was curious.
“What trick is that?” she asked.
“He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit,” answered the boy.
Hard Of Hearing
Gene Becknell decided Loretta was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple, informal test Gene could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem. He told him what you do.
“Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
So that evening Loretta was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Gene was in the living room, and he says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”
“Honey, what’s for supper?”
So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Loretta, I said what’s for supper?”.
So he walks right up behind her. “Loretta, what in the world are you cooking for supper?”
“For the fifth time, GENE! I’m cooking CHICKEN!” We need to get your ears checked!
Area Prayer Concerns
Leroy Belue, Miriam Gregory, Bruce Inman, Mary Ribelin and Don Cudd.
Please remember the family of Don Nix in prayer.
Remember to take care of your pets it is getting cold outside.
After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches. So one evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”
The old farmer replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came down to feed the alligator.”
Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.
Many Americans mistakenly believe that Veterans Day is the day America sets aside to honor American military personnel who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained from combat. That’s not quite true. Memorial Day is the day set aside to honor America’s war dead.
Veterans Day, on the other hand, honors ALL American veterans, both living and dead. In fact, Veterans Day is largely intended to thank LIVING veterans for dedicated and loyal service to their country. November 11 of each year is the day that we ensure veterans know that we deeply appreciate the sacrifices they have made in the lives to keep our country free. If you see a veteran, tell them you appreciate them.
This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.
— Elmer Davis
Till Next Time