Would You Believe?

that on May 3, 2010, the very first issue of the Buffalo News For You was printed? That’s right … exactly two years ago to the same date! My, how time flies. I do not know about you, but it seems that the older I become, the faster that time passes by.

I want you to know that each issue of this journal is prepared first with prayer and then with news that I have heard, jokes that will make you laugh and smile, and illustrations that will hopefully bring you closer to our Lord and help you in your daily walk with Him. As we enter our third year, I continue to ask my readers to share with us good, clean, humorous jokes and illustrations and news and special moments for our Buffalo Community family.

Praise, Thanksgiving, And Appreciation

I want to take a moment to thank certain people for making this journal a success. People tell me on the streets that they go out of their way to buy a Thursday paper so that they can read Buffalo News For You.

First of all, I want to thank my wife, Anzie, for “editing” this journal each week to make sure no “gray” jokes appear.

I also want to thank Bruce Betenbaugh for giving to me each month the monthly birthday/anniversary list for Buffalo Baptist Church. I wish the other churches would participate.

I want to thank James Lancaster for sharing with me email jokes that come across his computer.

Much appreciation goes to Brenda Lawson, Lorene Vinson, Wanda Fleming, Pam Kelly, Nancy Browning, and many others for contributing their news to this journal.

I want to thank Charles Warner, editor for the Union Daily Times, for his expertise, guidance, and suggestions to make this journal possible.

I want to thank our Lord Jesus for inspiration and leadership.

Absolutely MOST OF ALL, I want to thank YOU, my readers, for spending your time and money reading this journal. I hope that you have chuckled many times, learned many new things, and have been truly blessed in special ways. May God bless Y’all.

One Thing You Will Not Find In Hell!

Art Linkletter once had a television program, “Children Say the Darndest Things.” And he was so right. It is amazing what our children will say because they watch and listen more than we think that they do.

Recently, I had a wonderful conversation with Ms. Brenda Lawson, of Putnam Highway. She takes care of her grandchildren, Jacob Fleming, Abby Lawson, and Christian Lawson. She told me about the cutest thing that her youngest grandchild, Christian, said one morning when she took them to school.

This particular morning, the children were really full of energy as she parked the car at school; and they were picking at each other. Ms. Lawson finally said, “Please Lord, take the devil out of this car and send him home.” (Or something like that). Then the children began talking about the devil, where he lived and the fire that is in hell.

Ms. Lawson told them about the fire and how hot it was when Christian said (something like), “Grandma, there aren’t going to be any marshmallows where the devil lives.”

You know, HE IS RIGHT!

About Friends And Friendship

Following are 10 ideas of wisdom as to how to improve relationships with our friends:

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the One who is, won’t make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want him/her to, doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t love you with all he/she has.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

8. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

9. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect him/her to know you.

10. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

The Jelly Bean Poem

I love jelly beans. Did you know that President Ronald Reagan loved jelly beans so much that he had a bowl of them on his desk in the White House. Following is a poem about jelly beans:

Red is for the blood He gave.

Green is for the grass He made.

Yellow is for the sun so bright.

Orange is for the edge of night.

Black is for the sins that were made.

White is for the grace He gave.

Purple is for the hour of sorrow.

Pink is for the new tomorrow.

Have You Heard About Larry?

Every now and then I will be bringing to you the adventures of Larry, a typical, smart little boy.

In this occasion, a new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.

The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’ ‘

No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

Birthdays

Having birthdays this week are Vicki Robinson and Ruth Lawson on Thursday, May 3; Lisa Ward and Gabriel Parker on Friday, May; Jesse Whitmire on Saturday, May 5; Jacob Hill, Kelsey Hill, and Braddie Rice on Sunday, May 6; Reeder Norman on Monday, May 7.

Also having a birthday is Julia Lane Chaney, great-granddaughter to Ms. Nancy Browning, who will be 12 on Monday, May 7. She is in the sixth grade at Boiling Springs Middle School.

Also having a birthday is Russell “Rusty” Browning, son of Nancy Browning, who will be celebrating his birthday on Wednesday, May 9. You may remember that Rusty had open heart surgery back in February, but is now back at work.

Happy Anniversary

to Shawn and Dana Murphy on Sunday, May 6. Happy Anniversary to you both.

How To Plant A Garden

A prisoner in our county jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied: “Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “You won’t believe what happened. Some men came to the house with shovels and dug up all the dirt in the back garden.”

The prisoner wrote back: “Now is a good time to plant the vegetables.”

Prayer Concerns

I heard that Brenda Lawson is suffering from broken ribs and a fractured spine. Bill Robinson just had surgery to repair a roto-cup in his left shoulder. Bayly Ebner is also struggling with his medical situations. Let’s pray for Eddie Howell that his physical situation will improve soon. All of these important individuals need our prayers as well as the many, many folks that I do not know about. Prayer has been proven by doctors to be a great tool in the healing process.

Fishing

A wife returning from a fishing trip with her husband was telling her troubles to a neighbor. “I did everything all wrong again today,” she said. “I talked too loud, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in too soon, and I caught more fish than he did.”

A Letter From Jesus

If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I am a Healer?

If you never had to pray, How would you know that I am a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an Overcomer?

If you never felt sadness, How would you know that I am a Comforter?

If you never made a mistake, How would you know that I am a Forgiver?

If you knew all, How would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble, How would you know that I will come to your rescue?

If you never were broken, Then how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never had a problem, How would you know that I can solve them?

If you never had any suffering, Then how would you know what I went through?

If you never went through the fire, Then how would you become pure?

If I gave you all things, How would you appreciate them?

If I never corrected you, How would you know that I love you?

If you had all power, Then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect, Then what would you need me for?

Love,

Jesus

A Word of Truth

“Jesus is not one of many ways to approach God, nor is He the best of several ways; He is the only way.”

If You Have Good News

When you see, hear, or make news, hear good, funny, and clean jokes, please email your news and jokes to me at cap9296@aol.com, call me at 864-441-2371, mail your news to me at POB 128, Buffalo, or stop me on the street. When you celebrate good things in your life, I would like to share that with the good people of Buffalo.

Until next week, may God bless you richly.