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Last updated: November 01. 2013 8:17AM - 1412 Views
Connie Porter Contributing Columnist



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Lockhart’s Christmas Parade is Dec. 1 at 2 p.m. Lineup starts at 12:30 at Lockhart School. Floats will be judged at 1 p.m. Please make sure that all floats will be lined up by that time. Judges will be from out of town. The plaques will be: Most Attractive, Most Original, Best Theme.


Vendors are welcome, free of charge. Just see Barry Canupp so he can put you in a good spot. If you’re not a vendor or not in the parade, come to the center of town to see what the vendors are offering.


After the parade there will be the Festival of Lights Ceremony, where you will have some entertainment. The last two years this has been held in the First Baptist Church, instead of at the Bell, because of the weather. This year, as yet, I don’t know, but if you come to the area you’ll find us.


Book Sale

Now, I will not be cutting hair this Sunday, but I will be in the shop, Nov. 3. I’m having a book sale of 10 cents each, — there’s even a few hard back books, westerns, mysteries, historical, and romance. Dolly says I must have about 1,000 books.


Bring a bag or box and fill them up. You can’t beat the price. This will help me fill our boxes for hospice, for the nursing homes at Christmas.


Remember, this Sunday, Nov. 3 from 1-4 p.m. Even if you don’t know me, come in and say HI!


Top 10

Did you all have a good time Halloween night? I worked but passed out treats also. These kids are adorable.


The Top Ten signs you are Too Old for Halloween:


10. You get winded from knocking on the door.


9. You have to have somebody chew the candy for you.


8. When somebody drops candy into your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.


7. You ask for high fiber candy only.


6. You keep having to go home to pee.


5. You forget which houses you’ve been to and go back to the same ones over and over.


4. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask! and you aren’t wearing a mask.


3 You’re the only ghost in the ‘hood with a walker.


2 When the door opens you yell, “Trick or—” and you can’t remember the rest.


And the #1 sign you are Too Old for Halloween: You’re home and in bed by 8 p.m.


Plans Didn’t Work Out

I had last Saturday all planned for after work. I was going to give my lawn its last cutting until spring. I had plenty of time to do the front and back and hilly side.


Thanks to Barry, he’s felt sorry for me and has mowed my side hill. Barry’s really doing a great job in cleaning the whole hillside in front of his home.


Well anyway, I didn’t run errands so I’d have plenty of time for the yard. I pulled the lawnmower out of the shed, and turned my beloved key, then I tried to pull the rope. Little did I know that I had to charge the battery for 10 hours. You know when I got it done? Monday!!


Then it started getting dark on me and so I only finished half the back yard, and of course all of the front. (It’s little).


I really hate saving money this way, all of this could have been done way before now if I didn’t listen to my daughter. Next I’ll have to wash, wax, and vacuum my car before the Christmas Parade. She doesn’t realize I’m keeping someone else from having a job!


At The Chiropractor

I finally got to visit my chiropractor, Dr. Sherman. She knows how to get those kinks out of me.


First you get to lie on the rolling pin bed with heat on your back, and if you don’t watch yourself, you might fall asleep and start snoring. We all want to take one of those home with us.


Then she’ll start at my feet and work herself up to my neck. She really got rid of the pain that my spur in my foot was causing. My hip gets out of whack from pumping up my styling chair, and she straightens that out also. And if I have a migraine, she does something to my neck and head and relieves that also. She’s worth trying!


Quite a few of my customers are being treated by her also.


Deceptive Advertising

A 70-year-old millionaire had just married a beautiful 20 year old.


“You crafty old codger,” said his friend, “How did you get such a lovely young wife?”


“Easy,” the millionaire replied. “I told her I was 95.”


Well I will apologize that this is so short, but it’s super late and I need to say good night, since I really don’t have any new news. 864-545-6652


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